Moving is hard. Objections are to be expected. However, It's important to note that the objections you hear may not be the REAL objections. "I have too much stuff" might actually translate to "I'm scared".
The decision to move often involves many people; the elder, the family and perhaps friends or health care workers. Everyone involved will likely do their part to keep matters interesting by voicing different opinions about what the best course of action to take. Make no mistake about it, even if everyone's ready for the move, it can be an emotionally charged time.
There is a silver lining to this dilema. I've heard all of the objections to moving. Seniors are not creating new objections. By having an understanding of what the objections are, you can prepare yourself to have a meaningful discussion about the topic with your elder. If after reading this, you're still uneasy about having this conversation, know that there are lots of professionals available to help you. Seniors move all the time. Look around at the number of senior communities in your area and you'll know this to be true!
First, zero in on the real objection. Objections are meant to put up barriers, and stop conversations. Now that you are wise in the way of helping elders move, you know your first order of business is to zero in on the real reason(s) your elder doesn't want to move. Put up your antenae and ask lots of questions, then listen. Do not try to tell your elder why their way of seeing things is incorect. Just listen. Empathize. Your job at this first step is to be respectful and gain understanding. Here are some of the objections you might hear and possible responses. Keep in mind many of these responses involve a process, not a cut and dry answer that will relieve your elders fears.
- Physical Logistics Objections: "I have to sell the house" or "I have too much stuff". Your Reply:These can all be overcome by hiring the right professionals in your community to help. If this is the reason, make it as easy as possible for the senior to move by bringing in professionals. You will want someone who can manage the move from beginning to end to take the stress of you and your elder.
- Fear Objections: "I'm too old to move", "Where will I get my prescriptions", or "I won't know anyone" Your Reply: Assist your elder in acclimating to the idea. Visit Senior Housing Communities. Have lunch there, and talk with residents who have moved. In my experience, 100% of my clients that started with objection later said "I'm so glad I moved" and "I should have done this years ago"
- Financial Objections: "I can't afford it" or "I don't want to have a monthly payment" "What if I run out of money?" Your Reply: Let's do some estate and financial planning so you have all the information. In a later blog I'll show you how to compare the price of staying in the home (don't every think this is free even though there's no current mortgage payment) and the cost of downsizing vs. the cost of renting in a senior community.
- Emotional Attachment Objections: "Where will we have Thanksgiving?" "I have too many memories here" Your Reply: Empathize. Then, after your elder has had a chance for expression, answer these objections with factual information. "We'll have Thanksgiving at my house" or "Lets put together a memory book before you move". If your elder is facing safety and quality of life issues then remind yourself of these reasons, and counter your elder's tears with gentle firm answers.
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