If you've seen you're parents' daily skill sets decline, the changes probably had to be drastic before you wanted to admit they were there. It's hard for us to watch our parents start to need help to get through the day. Here's the slippery slope: if it was hard for YOU to see and admit there are changes, guaranteed your parents don't want to admit it's happening either.
Conversations with our parents about adding home health care or even moving to a senior housing building with services, take time. Give your parent some early feedback that you're noticing changes and start suggesting some alternatives. If you wait, you may find yourself dealing with an accident or other health crisis and that will severely limit your parents' control and choices over where they'll live.
Your early feedback to your parent may be enough to start them through the Change Process.
The Stages of Change
Precontemplation Stage-
Not yet even considering a change. In denial about the need for a change.
Contemplation Stage-
Undecided about change. Thinking about the benefits of a lifestyle change triggers feelings of loss. It's important to recognize this loss. Anytime we make a change, we're giving up something; whether it's an old comfortable habit, or a house full of memories.
Preparation Stage -
A recognition that change would be beneficial. Begin to seek information about the change, order a senior housing directory, visiting local senior housing buildings, interviewing Realtors. This is the stage where we are most likely to scare ourselves into NOT making the change. I encourage seniors to develop a mission statement or a list of wants and needs for their new home. I encourage them to talk about how they envision wanting to live. Their vision may include being active, social and meeting new friends, or it may include quiet walks alone with an occasional quiet meal with a friend or two.
Action Stage -
This stage is acheived only if the first 3 stages have not bee glossed over. Action itself isn't enough. There has to be an intention of moving-a forward direction. If not, even if you see your parent order a senior housing directory,there may be no follow through. If you see a discontinuation in action, it's likely because the grieving process of the loss or the mission statement weren't thorough enough.
Maintenance/Adaptation to the change -
Incorportaing new behaviors over the long haul. Adapting to the new diggs will take some time. Plan on a year. Most of my clients are glad they moved, many say "I should have done it years ago!" But it does take time to adapt.
This information was given to me on a hand-out and I've not been able to locate the source. Author unknown.
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