Real Sage Advice

New Year Word Search

To help you forget about all of the resolutions you didn't get to this year, here's another one of those mind numbing word searches.

Enjoy, and Happy New Year!

Don't You Quit Poem

An inspriring message for seniors apprehensive about a move, and adult children caring for aging parents. author unknown.

The odd little blog about senior housing and real estate gets a make over

After spending a perfect Christmas weekend with my friends and family, I'm now looking forward to the New Year with a thoughtful eye. The last few months I've met a number of new clients due to my blogging.  The common thread that runs between these families is one of feeling overwhelmed by trying to navigate senior housing and senior services in Minnesota. This prompted me to think about other ways I might offer some help to them.

First a new look.  What do you think?

Second, I've found myself wondering if blogging about senior housing and senior services is helpful, or if I'm just contributing to all of the "noise" about the topic on the internet.  There are a lot of authors contributing to the topic. Unfortunately some of those contributions are not made in the spirit of industry transparency, but rather "buy from us!" I decided what was needed was some new organization.

I've added a front page to Real Sage Advice, with the vision of making it easier to access all of the information that has been added here.  While Blogs are a wonderful way to add articles in real time, easily updated, and a great way to start a conversation, you end up with screen after screen of articles without a great way to retrieve what you're looking for!  The organization isn't done yet, but it's well underway!

Finally, I'm adding an "inspiration" category.  For family members who are acting as caregivers and my elder clients who survived moving into senior housing; you have some lessons and wisdom to share with your peers. Do you have a story to share?

Sandwich Generation-Cute Name, Deadly Statistic

An Associated Press article  reported the suicide rate for 45-54 year olds (the sandwich generation) rose by 20 percent, the highest it's ever been since the Centers for Disease Control has been tracking.  In contrast the suicide rate for 20-somethings rose only 1 percent.

Here's a quote from the article that sent me reeling:

"Experts said they don’t know why the suicide rates are rising so dramatically in that age group..."

Are ya kiddin me?  Let me take a stab it. 

Many Baby Boomer's are at the peak of their career with both responsibility and earning potential. This is also the time when they are most likely to be focused on trying to earn as much as they can, and save as much as they can since so many are ill-prepared for retirement.

With the strain of trying to save for retirement come other conflicting demands of baby boomers' time and money. Kids and parents. Boomerang kids living at home, elderly parents who need more time, and maybe money are a drain on the baby boomers' resources.

If you're lucky enough to be able to be a 24-hour caregiver to your aging parents, it's a blessing and also an incredible strain. Caregiving is an unbelievably demanding job-ask any parent. Quadruple the responsibilities of a full-time caregiver with full-time employment and parenting and you've got a disaster waiting to happen.

I see the results of the sandwich generation everyday.  When I'm called to meet with a family about helping a senior move, the stories repeat themselves. I see frazzled adult children spread too thin and elderly parents too proud to ask for help or too afraid to be seen as a burden. 

The adult daughter is usually the one who takes charge of helping elderly parents move.  The daughter is usually the person who wants to be the contact person between me and the family. This is also the person who is balancing other caregiving responsibilities.  I spend as much time reassuring and supporting the adult daughter as I do the elderly parents who are making the major life change.

Families are unraveling at the seams as we teeter over the cliff of the health care crisis, and the experts can't figure out why suicide rates are rising so dramatically with this age group? 

This study was conducted by looking at death certificates so there isn't any data to back my hypotheses-but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see the crisis that's emerging.   

“The middle-aged are often overlooked. These statistics should serve as a wake-up call...”   

Let's hope.

Holiday Cross Word Puzzle

Here's another holiday cross word puzzle to keep your mind active on a Saturday morning.

Just click on the first letter of the word, and drag your mouse across the word as you find them. There's a help menu in case you get stuck.  If you'd rather print it out, you can do that too.

New Featured Expert on Gilbert Guide

I've just recently been given my own little corner of the Gilbert Guide blog on which I am able to stand on my little soap box and talk about real estate, senior housing and aging issues.

The Gilbert Guide is actually a publication of senior housing and senior services published in New York, Pennsylvania, Texas and California. The key is the only senior housing and senior services that are published are those that meet the gilbert guide inspector's standards. It's the "A" list.

I'm just thrilled to be associated with an organization of such high standards and integrity.

Perhaps we are too Minnesota-nice to say "sorry, you can't be listed in our directory." Our Senior Housing Directory includes everyone. You can request a copy of the Minnesota Senior Housing Directory, or search my online database of Minnesota Senior Housing at TheSeniorHousingSearch.com.

What it's really like in senior housing.

So often after my clients are settled in their new diggs I hear "I should have moved years ago!".

Unfortunately, me relaying that third person to my clients who are shaking in their boots at the prospect of moving doesn't help.

Finally, I found two women who are blogging about living in senior housing.  I don't know them, I haven't paid them, and you'll read about real experiences, good bad and ugly.

First there's Nora an eighty-something who has pasted a Victoria Secret Model's body on her blog picture. She's hysterical. Start with her Eyes Wide Shut post where she's in the locker room with her friends.

Second, there's Marlys at Never too Late.  She's a midwest author, writer, award winner, can't-stop-me-now kind of girl who also just moved into senior housing, and plans to write about her daily life there.

They probably started this as an experiment, and have no idea how many people they'll help by doing it.

Storytelling: Another way to preserve memories

It's strange how once you start to pay attention to a particular issue you start to see more of it, and start to see new solutions to old problems.

In a previous post I wrote about helping your aging parents preserve memories when the time comes for them to move. Then this weekend I ran across a company I hadn't heard about before. Kelly Hocks, at Storybookin has built a business on helping families preserve their heritage through storytelling. Using a product by Heritage Makers, it's a great way to put together a "memories" book for a parent who is moving.

Start by taking pictures of each room before you start packing and sorting. Then include pictures of events or family members as you tell stories about events in each room.  You may not have a story about each room in your parent's home, it may just be something in particular that stands out in your minds eye...a particular knick knack or picture.  Then, share the memory book of your family home with your parent before they move and reminisce together. 

What a beautiful gift to give your parents this holiday season-your time and new memories.

Kelly Hocks can be reached at 612-896-9200 or kelly@storybookin.com

Reverse Mortgages for Seniors

Our elder loved ones are often put in a position of having to make some difficult decisions. Those decisions are hopefully made with a clear head, open heart and with accurate information. Unfortunately, our elders are often making decisions about moving under stressful circumstances, and without a lot of accurate information. Unless they ask the right questions to the right professional, they likely will not have all the available information from which to make decisions.

For example:

If a senior is torn about whether or not to move, and they consult with a financial planner, they will likely talk about investment products for the equity in the home, and how much the next home should cost. If a senior consults with a real estate agent that doesn't specialize in working with seniors, they'll likely hear about the real estate market, and get assistance with coming up with a plan to get their home ready for the market. If a senior consults with a banker or mortgage officer, they will likely hear about reverse mortgages. 

The problem is, if your selling your home, a banker is probably not the first person you would turn to!

There are a lot of myths out there about reverse mortgages, in fact many of my real estate colleagues would not recommend them to their clients.  In my opinion that is a grave disservice.  Reverse mortgages are a viable option for many seniors who contact me to list their home, but don't want to move. They take out a reverse mortgage, and call me (sometimes years later) when they are ready. My job is not to decide what is best for my clients, but to give them accurate information, and an assessment about the pros and cons so they can decide for themselves. Once my client has reached a decision, it's my job to help them implement their decision.

Reverse mortgages are not for everyone, but they do have the power to open doors to seniors that once closed.

Reverse Mortgage Articles:
What are Reverse Mortgages?
We are endorsing reverse mortgages...
Reverse Mortgage Myths

Twelve Days of Christmas Word Search

Enjoy this word search! You can work online, or print it out, and there's a help menu in case you get stuck!