Real Sage Advice

Inspiration - Aging

What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.

Brigitte Bardot

For more Inspiration see these posts

What Do I Do With The Stuff?

When seniors move and downsize, they often leave a home full of belongings accumulated over a lifetime.  Clearing the house for sale is often more work than moving!  Kathleen McGonagle, owner of Rose's Daughters, Inc. offers the following suggestions and resources for clearing a house.

ESTATE SALE

If you are willing to have an estate sale, contact estate sales companies to visit the house AFTER you are clear about what you will sell.  All estate sale conductors will take a percentage commission of the sales and will also want a guaranteed minimum amount of sales.  The minimum amount and the commission amount vary from different companies.  They can tell you if you have enough for a sale.  When signing the contract for an estate sale, be clear about all the costs of advertising the sale and cleaning the house after the sale.

Find private estate sale companies in the yellow pages under "Estate Sales."  Two non-profits that conduct sales in the Twin Cities area are Ebenezer Hearts and Hands (612.874.3460) and Trust (612.269.1865).

If an estate sale is not an option, there are other good ways to dispose of the house's contents.

Higher value items can be sold through consignment stores. Look under "Consignment Shops and Services" in the Yellow Pages.  Commissions, policies and restrictions vary, so call first and find out what a particular store's requirements are.  Expect to pay at least a 30%-35% commission and you will be required to transport the items and pick them up if they do not sell.

INTERNET SELLING

EBAY.com is one option for selling items via the Internet.  If you or someone you know is not computer savvy, businesses will sell your items on line and then take care of the shipping.  Again, expect at least a 30% commission.  Craigslist is a local option for selling or trading, and since it is local, it's easier to complete the sale and delivery.  For seniors, the disadvantage of Craig's List is that the listed item will generate interest in coming to the home to see the item.  You may want to have someone at your home with you when people from the Internet visit your home to take a look at the item(s) you're selling.

The Internet user can dispose of items by using Freecycle.  You post a description of the item you are giving away and interested people leave you emails offering to take it.  You select the recipient and arrange the pickup time and place. It can be as anonymous as you wish, even to having it picked up at the end of your driveway.

DONATIONS

Donating items to charity is an excellent way to empty a house while helping others.  Some charities will pick up but most charities have restrictions, so call and find out what they will not take.  Locate charities that accept donations, again the Yellow Pages is a great resource.

After consignment stores, charitable donations, and friends and family, some things will still be left in the house:

• Bring hazardous waste to a community site. Check your local community for the times and places.
• Look in the Yellow Pages under "Garbage & Rubbish Removal" for places to rent dumpsters (you carry and fill the dumpster) or for companies that do junk removal (they carry and haul it).
• Shred personal papers.  For high volume shredding call Shred-it (952.893.0080) for dates and times that the public can bring shredding a Shred-it location.  The cost of shredding is based on the weight of the documents.

Inspiration-Why Nostalgia?

My life is very exciting now. Nostalgia for what? It's like climbing a staircase. I'm on the top of the staircase, I look behind and see the steps. That's where I was. We're here right now. Tomorrow, we'll be someplace else. So why nostalgia?

Jeanne Moreau

For more Inspiration see these posts

Aging Parents, Photographs, and Family History

When you're decluttering to help an elderly loved one downsize or move to a senior community, there's an opportunity to do something special with all those old photographs and the stories that go with them.  I asked Rory Siefer, family biographer to write an article about CatchMyMemory.com. 

I inherited boxes of photos from my parents with no names, no dates, and no way to recover the lost history.

Because We Can'tt All Fit Into a Time Capsule

If you've ever been a part of creating or even opening a time capsule you can attest to how fascinating they can be. A small part of history can be captured through the items inside: novelty toys, newspaper articles, and even handwritten letters. When you look through the items you are instantly transported back in time to that special moment, as if you were really there!

Now while we can't fit ourselves into a time capsule to be opened decades into the future, there is something else we can do to make sure that our lives makes an impression on the generations that are to come...create our own special kind of time capsule.

My name is Rory Siefer and I am a Family Biographer and founder of http://www.CatchMyMemory.com. Over four years ago I was inspired by the untimely loss of my own grandfather to find a way to help others pass on the stories about their life. As a family biographer I am hired by families to go interview a parent or a grandparent all about their life. Hundreds of hours later I publish a professional hardback biography for the whole family to cherish. I've helped stories from a former FBI agent and also the tales of an original Texas Rancher. One thing I've learned through it all-- we all have a story to tell!

Today I wanted to share some tips with you about creating a time capsule for a loved one who is getting older or even creating a time capsule for yourself! No matter the age we all have a story to save. Here a four items you should focus on if you are trying to save a life story:

What is Worth Saving?
1) Photographs
2) Stories
3) Personality Elements
4) Tributes

1) Photos: Don't lose the history behind the photographs. Bring out the old albums, boxes of photographs, and choose a few of the most important ones. Jot down notes on the back with a sticky note. Who else can identify the old relatives and special events better than your parents?
2) Stories: Save their voice, laugh, and record the memories just the way they want them remembered. Turn on a voice recorder around the dinner table or sit down after and create a mock-interview session. Let your kids ask them about their life. You'll be amazed at what you might learn.
3) Personality: Make an instant family heirloom. Have your loved one paint a picture, draw out their family tree, or even write a poem. Try to draw out a little bit of who they are with a fun family craft.
4) Tribute: Pay tribute to who they are and what they have accomplished. Collect letters that other friends and family members have written about your parents and read through the stories together. See how they have impacted others.

Most importantly, and what I hope you learn today is to put a system in place to make sure that those memories are never lost. Dedicate yourself to saving the history while you still can. While we can't fit ourselves or even a loved one into a time capsule, we can still save those stories so that they will live on forever.

If you need a little help getting started my StoryCatcher and PhotoCatcher kits have step by step instructions on how to save the life stories of a loved one. To learn more don't miss my website at http://www.CatchMyMemory.com.

Rory Siefer
Family Biographer
http://www.catchmymemory.com
rory@catchmymemory.com

Consider Placing Your Home-and Other Properties- in a Trust

Very often when I'm working with a senior client on the sale of their home, I'm also working with at least one other family member, which is usually an adult child.

Unfortunately more often than not, there has been very little estate planning done so if my client's health should fail sometime between the time that we list the house and the time we clear escrow (by the way, homes are on the market much longer than they used to be), it becomes a logistical nightmare for the family. During a time of crisis the last thing a fearful grieving family wants to talk about are quitclaim deeds, capital gains taxes or durable power of attorney forms.

And trust me, the last conversation I want to have with a grieving adult child is, "We have a signed purchase agreement on your mom's house. Because the house is not in a trust, if she should pass before we close, we will have to cancel the purchase agreement. The house will then go through probate court before we can put it back on the market."

I've had this conversation with two different families in the last 6 months. 

Is your parents' home in a trust?

Have you talked with an Elder Law Attorney to see if your home should be in a trust? Don't do it for you, do it for your children.

Help! It's Time For My Elderly Parent To Move!

This blog about senior housing and aging issues is filled with tidbits to help Baby Boomers move their aging parents.  Here's a summary of posts about helping a senior move that you might find helpful:

Start the conversation:

Moving Your Parents, Where to Start?

Change, One Step At a Time

Use the Research to Talk with Your Mom and Dad about Moving

Time to Talk About Moving Mom and Dad

Dealing With Your Own Feelings About Moving:

Guilt

How Do I Talk With My Parents About Moving?

A Reason for Seniors to Move

When is it Time to Move My Mom?

Relocate My Parents?

Develop Your Move Plan:

Step 1 & 2 of Moving For Seniors

Step #3 to a Move Plan-Don't Procrastinate

Step #4 Can You Afford the Home You Want?

Step #5 Tour Senior Housing

Steps #6 & #7- Understand the Contracts, and Visit With Your Financial Advisor

Tips to Make Your Parent's Move a Little Easier

Help Your Aging Parent Move By Honoring Memories

Clutter

Obstacles to Moving

Inspiration-Aging Gracefully

Aging gracefully is supposed to mean trying not to hide time passing and just looking a wreck. Don't worry girls, look like a wreck, that's the way it goes.

Jeanne Moreau

For more Inspiration see these posts

Seniors at risk for Tax Fraud Scam

It's tax season again, and it seems the crooks are bringing their "A" game. Seniors are likely to ask for help with their tax returns, especially if it's inexpensive! Imagine a crook requesting 3 years of statements from the Social Security Administration that includes benefits, and of course, the victims social security number. The returns are doctored to the senior gets a nice little return, and pays the crook $40-$100 for the tax preparation. The senior gets the much anticipated and badly needed tax return and spends it, only to get a demand letter from the IRS months later, demanding return of the money due to mistakes made on the return.  The crook, is long gone, with the victims social security number.

Crooks wield both crowbars and calculators, one more damaging than the next.

Elderly, Dementia and Drugs

The Minneapolis Star and Tribune published a fantastic article about aging and mental health: People with dementia getting drugged instead of helped by none other than our Warren Wolfe. Wolfe states:

In Minnesota, antipsychotic drugs are given routinely to 32 percent of Minnesota nursing home residents with dementia and behavior problems -- and to 15 percent of residents who don't have that diagnosis, the state Department of Health reported.

Antipsychotic drugs have become the No. 1 drug paid for by Medicaid, which regulates and pays for most nursing home care. They are prescribed for about 30 percent of all nursing home residents.

The word dementia has become a household word. We've all known someone who has had "symptoms of dementia."  Ironically with seniors what LOOKS like dementia can actually be a symptom of another condition. Get a geriatrician (NOT the family doctor) or mental health professional who specializes in working with seniors involved.

Get Found

As more and more websites are trying to cash in on the age wave, and there is more and more irrelevant and bad information about aging issues and senior housing, it's more and more important to "get found" on the internet. Here's a site I registered with today in an effort to "get found."  I'll let you know how it goes!

RssHugger is a weblog directory that basically combines Technorati, rss directories, and search engine optimization into one. If you own a blog, you can get your own page on rssHugger for 10 years by giving an honest review of the site on your blog. If you want to join rssHugger but do not want to review our site, you can pay a one time review fee of $20. This fee, allows the site's authors to keep out a lot of the spam/useless blogs.

Submit your own blog to RSSHugger