Two different times over the last year I've watched two different families watch in shock and awe over their parent's decisions to move. First, they were shocked because their parents moved to a place that wasn't chosen by the adult children. Second they were in awe of their parent's ability to make decisions that were different from their own.
I don't understand how my parents could do something that doesn't make any sense to me!
In both cases, the adult daughter, with the very best of intentions, identified a place that would be "just perfect" for mom and dad. It was close to city amenities, no stairs, nice floor plan, flat yard, and close to the family. In both cases the parents decided that were they wanted to live was NOT closest to the family.
In both of these cases I got the same phone call from the daughter. "Lisa, you are NOT going to believe what my parents did!" I can see it coming, but I ask "What?" "They decided they wanted to move to (name any city 50 miles from the children) and wrote an offer on a place. I didn't even get to see it!" Here it comes, wait for it...I ask, "Did they ever mention wanting to live in (name the city 50 miles from the family)?" And the daughter answers (you saw this coming too, didn't you?) "Well yes, but we decided they should live closer to us!"
In both cases these very loving daughters with the very best of intentions really only missed one step in helping their parents move. They forgot to listen. As much as we would like to insert our wishes into our parent's move plan-- we serve ourselves, and our parents much better if we stop, breathe, and listen.
As long as our parent's plan keeps them safe, financially sound, healthy, happy and in control of their own destiny there really isn't anything to complain about other than the fact that we didn't get our own way, is there?
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