This last week I had a conversation with a colleague about her parents. I'll call her Sandy. Sandy's mom was recently hospitalized, and her mom is the primary caretaker for her dad, who is legally blind and quite vulnerable. This is the second or third hospitalization within as many weeks and Sandy is talking with her parents about moving to a senior community. Sandy said they would be open to the idea of moving, but they can't bring themselves to ask their son to find a new place to live. Sandy is concerned that her sibling is taking advantage of their parents. After some brief questions I had some suggestions for her, and gave her the name and number of a geriatric care manager. As a fellow REALTOR, Sandy knows when I give out a name and number I stake my reputation on it. I wouldn't give out a referral unless I would trust them to take care of me and my aging parents. As REALTORS we can't get any kind of referral fee or kick-backs when we make referrals to other professionals. So she also knows when I give out a name and number, it's of someone I trust.
Later the next day I received an email from Sandy thanking me for the information, and apologizing for not remaining professional. She said she wanted to tell me about a "friend" who was having these family issues so she could give the appearance of being once-removed. She was a little embarrassed about having divulged so much personal information.
I was surprised by this. I work in an environment where I'm used to consulting with other REALTORS and we often brainstorm and problem solve in groups on ways to better serve our clients. I've come to expect other agents to consult with me about their elderly clients. This is my expertise. It's what I do. So, when this agent talked with me about her aging parents and family dynamics, it was just another consultation--at least to me.
I realized to Sandy this wasn't just another professional consultation but rather an exercise in saying "I need help". She said she knew it was something she would have to do "someday". We just never think that someday is today.
Has this happened to you or someone you know?
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